Saturday, November 6, 2010

Happy Birthday Amber!

It seems like it wasn't more than a day or two ago and we had this little baby in our arms.  I remember it so clear, going to the hospital in labor, them sending me home.  I was walking around at home in front of my 4 yr old twins, pacing trying to be side tracked, them talking to me telling me things, asking questions.  We still at that point didn't know if we were having a baby girl or baby boy.  Then we went back to the hospital and not long after that I heard Robert say, "It's a beautiful girl!"  He sounded so excited, but I think it was just the joy of knowing my pain was over.  It has got to be so tough on the husbands too, feeling so helpless during the whole labor of birth.
 I was a bit afraid to get attached to this baby before she was born.  With the experiences we had before, I didn't want to get attached, I didn't want to experience another disappointment.  I was trying to NOT get attached, not getting excited about it, just in case things didn't turn out well.  Finanlly she was here, she wasn't going to be a disappointment, she wasn't going to get my hopes up for nothing.  We had Amber Elizabeth.  My Grandmother's middle name was Elizabeth too.  We waiting over 2 years for her,we finally had our little Amber.  She was worth the wait.  She has brought so much joy and laughter to our home.  Of course the other girls loved her from the beginning. 
Amber recently has been asking me to tell her stories of when she was a baby.  I tell her the story of when she was little, she never smiled.  She must have been at least 4 months or more before she really gave me a smile.  She would smile at the bookcase, the ceilings, but never at me when I would talk to her.  I wondered if maybe there was a problem. 

 Then one day, it finally came... she not only smiled but she would start to "talk" and "babble" back at me too when I talked to her.  My fears were eased.  She was the center of attention.  It seemed like we were starting all over again with babies.  My youngest besides Amber was now 4, and it seemed so nice and different to have just ONE baby again instead of two to care for at the same time.  It seemed almost too easy. 

 I was a bit afraid to get attached to this baby as it was growing inside my body.  With the experiences we had before she was born, I didn't want to get attached, I didn't want to experience another disappointment.  I was afraid that maybe it would be hard to have that bond with her after trying to NOT get attached just in case things didn't turn out well.  I had not problems with bonding when she was here.  She turned one and I was very attached to this little girl.  What a wonderful time!  Sometimes she still wasn't very smiley but she makes up for those lack of smiles everyday now.  She is always such a happy smiley girl!
Amber was such a sweet spirit.  By this time we were expecting another baby.  After having such a hard time getting Amber we didn't want to wait too long to get that last baby here.  It was kind of sad for me to think of how different Amber's little world would be once we had that new baby. 

Amber herself, was just a little baby.  She was barely a year and a half and then we had a new baby.  It was like my little Baby Amber grew up over night.  When she came to visit us at the hospital, it was amazing to me.  I felt so sad for her, knowing her life and her attention would be so changed with this new little baby.
 Amber seemed to adjust okay.  She loved her little sister to pieces.  Sometimes she loved her a little too much.  I was telling Amber just yesterday about the time she was kissing her little baby sister's head and she must have gotten a little excited or something and she bit her head.  It was so sad, but who knows what that little girls was thinking.  We celebrated Amber's 2nd birthday with the thing she loves best... suckers!
I still don't always know what she is thinking about.  She is crazy most the time!  I love her so much!  She is that warmth you feel when you are sitting in a sunny window.  You can't help but to be want to be around her.  She is a burst of energy and craziness too! 
I am not sure when it started.  Somewhere between her 2nd and 3rd birthday, but she loves getting her picture taken and she wants to always be in the pictures.  She is so darn cute it's hard NOT to take a picture of her.
 She is also a creature that loves other creatures.  We were driving by some mink farms yesterday and she pointed to them and said, "is that were the living animals are?"  Kind of a funny way to put it, but yes that is I guess where they are.  She is our lover of all.... she likes the spiders, snakes, and bugs right along with all those cute fuzzy animals that most like.  She was our chick keeper when Grandpa brought home like 12 chicks. 
 I could hardly believe it when she turned 3.  Where did the time go?  Did life really go that fast.  My little baby is growing up.  She loves Dora and Diego too.  I remember when the twins were this age and they were in love with Dora and Diego.  I wish time would pass a little slower.  I feel like I am missing too much.  
Amber continues to do these crazy and wild poses for pictures.  When I have the camera out, it is normally because she is being crazy with some sort of costume or addition she has added to herself.  It was hard to choose some of the pictures because she has some really funny ones!  Did I already say she is CrAzY?
 She is a blessing to have.  To think there was a time I wasn't sure if we would have more than the 3 kids we had, we are very blessed.  Amber is such a goof ball, she is so fun to be around.  If you spend anytime with her, you can't help but to love her and want to be around her more.  She is one unique girl.... I love her so much!

I could hardle believe it was that time again, time for her to be one year older.  I knew it was coming but I didn't want to face it!  My baby is 4.  How did that happen?  She wanted a cow cake for her birthday.  I was so excited and was ready for it.  We went to the store to buy black for the frosting and she changed her mind to Mickey.  Maybe because of our recent Disneyland trip, who knows?  She said her next birthday she will do the cow.  I am thinking that won't happen though, but maybe, with Amber she is always suprising you.
I really was sad about the cake, I bought a disposible tin pan that had the little face on it.  It was so not good.  The cake didn't keep it's shape, the face was too big.  I tried shaping the cake and I tried trimming the face.  I would not recommend using their kit.  I would have instead just used a few round pans instead and put them together.  Amber didn't seem to care.  She thought it was great.

So my little baby, or the one whom seemed to be a baby just a day or two ago is now 4.  How did that happen?  I know it happens because I have other children who seem to be a little too old for the time I feel like we have had with them.  I treasure my little Amber each and every day.  She is such a blessing, an answer to prayer, and a wonderful big sister to Samantha.  I love the relationship they have.  I know they will be best friends forever.  Amber is loved by so many!  Especially by me!

2 comments:

** Adrian ** said...

I can't believe she is FOUR!!! Where does the time go?!??!?!

Happy Birthday, Amber!!! You are such a sweet, special girl!

I love the photos from your California trip & the surprise from your sisters!! HOW FUN!!!

wendy said...

I love her story. I didn't realize her birthday was so close to our guy's. I have got to pay better attention!! She is so so cute. I love the pics!!