I love being a mom, I find it so joyful and rewarding... okay well most of the time. Lately it seems like my joyful and rewarding part of it has been more on the down side. I feel like I have been experience the less desired parts of it. The angry kids, the fighting, the tired mornings, and last week we were one by one going through the stomach flu complete with the vomitting and diareah. I cleaned up couches, tile, toilets, walls, doors, rugs, carpet, beds, and anything else I may have forgotten that came in the path of a sick child. The laundry was horrible, I stopped sorting laundry the normal way and sorted more in the "has throw up on it" and "doesn't have throw up on it" and washed things in those orders no matter if it was sheets, wash clothes, underwear or jeans... they all went in together.
Yesterday I was out shopping for Emily's birthday. I took Amber and Samantha with me... we were at Lowe's and Amber spotted in the parking lot the storage sheds all lined up. She told me she saw a farm. I was really confused by what farm she was talking about. I then realized it was the sheds. She asked if she could go in it. I told her we were too busy today so we couldn't go in it. She then said, oh, it is too small for us to go to the farm. She was cracking me up! It made me enjoy the mind of a child, and being that child's mom!
We later were at a fabric store getting some material for some curtains for Emily's window. As the lady was cutting our first bolt of fabric Amber got all excited and said, "This is fantastic! I am so excited! This is great! I love fabric!" You would have thought we were at Disneyland or something with her facial expressions and her tone of voice. I was laughing and told her I loved fabric too! I then told her I loved her too and how happy she makes me. How she makes my heart smile and makes me smile inside. I gave her a little squeeze and told her I loved her again. She then gave me a hug and told me she loved me too. Then I said, "No I love you!" and gave her another hug. She then gave me a hug and said, "No, I love you" again... this went back and forth until all our fabric was done being cut.
This made me think about how wonderful it is to be a mom. It is times like this when I so enjoy being a mom, and these are the times that help to override the not so happy times. I really needed this... from her or from any of my girls. It seems like things have been more on the down side lately, or maybe I have just been more on the down side... but this was really great! It kind of reminded me again what motherhood was all about, and that sometimes it isn't always fun, but it is always worth it. Opposition in all things right. Unfortunately that means that perhaps my kids might have to be total stink pots for me to be thankful when they are being good right!?
Later that night, Amber was standing on a chair, she leaned or something and knocked the chair over while she was still on it, and got hurt. She was crying and got an instant bruise. At night when I put her to bed, she asked for the normal songs... and then in her weeping, she said, "Mom will you pray for me?" Again my heart smiled, swelled, and melted all in the same moment. It made me realize that I (and Robert) have been doing something right if a 2 year old understands prayer. I prayed with Amber for her leg to feel better.
Again I got a nice reward for the day for being a mom. I know that not all days will I maybe find joy in motherhood right away without sitting and thinking for a time, but I know that the good will out weigh the bad. I also know I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than I am right now... being a mom of 5 wonderful kids that love their mom (and that mom is ME!!) How lucky I am!!